Work as Life How to Get New Answers to Old Questions
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
I’ve been haunted for years by one of my dad’s oft-repeated old sayings when I was growing up:
There’s no better way to kill time than work it to death.
I never questioned the truth of that statement. First, I love my dad. He’s a really good man. Second, work is good. Third, work is what we’re all about, right. Right?
- Lie number 1: We don’t get anywhere in life without working hard.
- Lie number 2: The more we work, the more we make.
- Lie number 3: What we do is who we are.
We spend more time working than any other activity. Most of us sleep less than eight hours a night, yet we work more than eight hours per day. Our most important relationship is with those we love at home. Yet we spend most of our time, with colleagues who love us very little. And those at home (who love us most, remember?) get the tired, grumpy, raggedy remnants of the “best” self that we tried to be all day.
Work became something different for me about 10 years ago when, in one of the many heart-to-hearts between me and my oldest son when he was feeling his way through high school, he said, “Work is evil for you.” Evil is a strong word, never to be taken lightly. At first, I thought maybe he was just angry because I didn’t spend enough time with him. But he didn’t seem angry. He was just telling me what he believed. He couldn’t elaborate, but at 16, he opened a wound that didn’t heal quickly. It festered for years as I thought about that: How could work be evil if my dad said it was the best way to kill time?
I was on the fast track in the newspaper business with a great job. As a young man, I had climbed much of the corporate ladder in a field that demanded 24 hour-a-day response. When my radio (before cell phone proliferation) crackled my name, or the phone rang, no matter what time, I had to respond. It didn’t matter if I was celebrating a holiday or a child’s birthday, I was on call.
But I had a good job. People respected me. I was providing for my family. I was living, and buying into, all three LIES. But as with most addictions — and work was an addiction for me — I hit a bottom.
Something had to change. Work wasn’t the answer it once was. I changed careers and fields in an effort to control my workaholic ways. For a short time, things were better. But not for long. I discovered that I’d rather work than talk to most folks. And if I’m feeling blue, please give me a hard job to do so I don’t have to feel it. Work became a great way to avoid myself.
I needed new answers. I had to throw out old rules that haunted me, and new insights that wounded me. I had to discover what work was to me.
Answers came slowly.
- Answer number 1: The key to “getting somewhere” is knowing where you want to go. One of my favorite reminders comes from Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Many people climb the corporate ladder only to find that the ladder was leaning on the wrong wall. Been there, done that.
- Answer number 2: Work smarter, not harder. Another clich Tags: advice, balance, change, child, children, dad, father, life, parent, parenting, training, upbringing, work
Two Most Common Myths About Leadership
Saturday, February 9th, 2008
Imagine you are a painter. Before you can create your masterpiece, you have to have a clean and blank canvas to work. To become a Real World Leader, you have to dispel the myths on leadership out your mind or you risk going about it the wrong way. Before anyone starts painting their masterpiece, they have to prepare a clear canvas.
Let’s begin by identifying just a handful of the character qualities of a great leader:
Excellent communicators
High Level of Confidence
Fearless & Courageous
Extreme Patience
Wise & Knowledgeable
We could probably write a book about history’s greatest leaders and their character qualities would undoubtedly be consistent, whether they are male or female, no matter their nationality or age, creed, era they lived in or even the people they were leading. From 5th century emperors to today’s 5th grade teachers, you will find the same character qualities in great leaders.
The First Myth
The first myth addresses whether or not these people were naturally born to lead. Is there a such thing as a natural born leader? Think about it for a second. There are people who are born with certain character qualities such as patience, clear communication skills, people-friendliness and an innate ability to think outside the box and share that vision with the team. But will that person born with those qualities naturally develop into a leader? And if you’re not born with those character qualities, does that mean you are incapable of becoming a leader?
Unless this first myth is absolutely purged from your perception of what it takes to become a leader, you will create your own mental roadblock in your journey to becoming a Real World Leader. Leaders are born, yes, but people are not natural born leaders.
Leadership is a learned skill through modeling, through coaching, through trial and error. Leadership is a process, not a characteristic. Sure, many leaders do possess those traits, but those character qualities alone do not make people a Real World Leader.
Leadership is something that people with these character qualities develop into. People become leaders; they are not natural born leaders. And not all leaders possess all these character qualities. Some leaders are not great communicators, but don’t people still follow them? Others lack any number of the character qualities mentioned earlier, but they still are great leaders because they understand that to become great leaders, they have to maximize the qualities that they already possess.
Know this: anyone, and I mean anyone, can become a Real World Leader. Once you have accepted the fact that you do not have to be born a leader, you can begin your journey to becoming a leader. We are going to use what qualities you do have to develop you into a Real World Leader. But it starts with you dispelling the first myth that some people are naturally born to lead.
The Second Myth
The second myth came to me after realizing that not everyone has all of the qualities associated with great leaders, but they all have the ability to become a Real World Leader. I’ve read many books that cover the character qualities of a great leader, but if anyone reading any of these books did not believe he or she possessed these qualities, they may fall victim to the myths that I am shattering for you.
I do not discourage anyone from reading these books and learning about the qualities many great leaders have. In fact I encourage you to read as much as you can in your journey. But as you’ll see, you can’t let your idea of being a great leder be base off these theoretical concepts. You will become a Real World Leader whether you were born courageous or not. The only prerequisite is that you are born.
“It’s Not What You Say, It’s What You Do”
If you were introduced to someone at a cocktail party and this person was charismatic, eloquent and confident, would you feel compelled to follow this person as your leader? Would you see this person as a leader that you have to be part of his or her team? What if you met this person while standing in line at the post office? Do you get a business card and apply for a job under this person? Does being charming and confident clue you into that person’s ability to lead?
Think about some people who you have followed in the past. Were they perfect? Did they always say the right things, woo everyone they met or show no fear in every situation? Sometimes people who are stoic under pressure are the ones who are suppressing their insecurities of their ability to complete a job. They are more concerned about how they look as opposed to accomplishing the goal of the team. Am I right?
Let’s go back to the people you met at the cocktail party and the post office. Could they have been white-collar criminals? Could they be insecure on the inside? Unemployed, maybe? Isn’t it possible to be unemployed and possess the character qualities of charisma, eloquence and confidence?
Now let’s go talk about the people who you know were great leaders. When they made a decision did you trust them in that decision? Why do you think you did? If a project required the team to stay late, was there any doubt if this person would stay? How did this make the team view this person? When there was a problem, did the team not only expect, but know this person would handle it?
To shatter the second myth you have to realize that people don’t follow people based on the qualities they have as a person. It’s a myth. That myth is replaced with the fact that people follow people based on what they do as a leader. Again, think about those people you followed in the past, or maybe even today in the present. Is it because of their qualities as a person or is it because of the things that they do? Is it because they are great communicators or is it because they use that quality to motivate the team to perform at its best? Is it because you follow people based on the character qualities they were born with or you follow people based who set the example and lead by their actions as a leader?
Anyone who aspires to become a great leader, be it in the community, your job, your church or even among your friends, you must first realize that people are naturally born to lead and that you do not become a leader based off your characteristics. Leadership is earned based off what you do as an individual. I’ve taught many workshops and it isn’t until these myths are dispelled before many of my students, from bottom level supervisor positions to executive level, realize that becoming great leaders starts with your actions and not your genes.
Ken Canion is known as America’s Most Passionate Speaker and teaches The Canion Method of Leadership through his new mentoring program. Learn more about his latest book at http://RealWorldLeader.com He is also available for speaking engagements and custom workshops. For more information, visit http://KenCanion.com
Tags: boss, building, how to, leaders, leadership, mentoring, program, promotion, respect, team, training