Life’s Perfect Answers
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
We have become a society of listeners and followers. We buy all the new self-help books; spend our time and money in every different emotional and mental healing modality imaginable. In the meantime, what is happening to our lives? The quick fixes of a new self help technique, or a new way to meditate are wonderful; I’m certainly not knocking any of it. But would we still be pursuing it so avidly if we all ready knew the answers?
There is only one place you will find the Perfect Answers for you. These are the answers to having the happiness and fulfillment in life you are so busy searching for. They are, of course, the last place you would look for them.
Before you start on your journey of finding the Perfect Answers, make sure that you really do want to find them! Some people would like the answers, but are afraid of them, or don’t believe they deserve them. Well, you do deserve all of the answers for you, and they can be scary at times. Never fear and doubt stop you in your pursuit of being the happy fulfilled person you are entitled to be.
Have you decided you want to take the journey? There is something inside you that you will be traveling towards. It’s a voice, a feeling, a “knowing”. We used to be able to hear that part of us clearly before society, in way of our parents and caretakers, stepped in. We were very clear about our needs, we needed love, food, and shelter. Our Life’s Passion was clear from birth, let us learn, explore, and discover this world we ended up inhabiting.
When we were unable to have our needs met, or our passions fulfilled, we loudly voiced our opinions over it. As many parents know, it doesn’t matter where we were, or what was going on, we were passionate about living our life the way we felt from the inside that we wanted to live it. Anyone standing in our way was sure to get an earful of screaming from us until we either gave up or got our way.
Times change and unfortunately most of us gave up. We have become like sheep waiting for everyone else to tell us what our Life’s Passion should be, what our very own answers to our own personal life is. If we can get back to listening to ourselves, from that other part, not our brain, that is where Our Perfect Answers are.
Meditating is one way of clearing your mind and attempting to open up to your inner knowingness again. That is a wonderful thing, but sometimes we get too caught up in the meditation and forget about the end purposes for it. So while meditation is a beautiful art, I’m not going to suggest it just yet.
Instead, I’m going to tell you to forget everything you have ever learned about life. Of course you should remember safety rules and laws that you need to follow. Forget who you are supposed to be, what you should be. That’s right - forget it! Start looking around now, with your inner self this time and not your mind.
Don’t ask anybody what it is that you should be or do. Just learn to be alive again, with all of your senses. Use your entire body to experience your world. Tell your brain to take a hike too. This is about other parts of you now.
When you are good and aware of what’s going on around you and outside of yourself right now, start to ask your inner part of you some questions. What is your life like compared to what you would like it to be like? What makes you smile, where is your passion? What are the little every day blessings that you haven’t noticed lately? Let your inside part of you that’s not your head, tell you the answers from now on.
The closer relationship you develop with that inner part of you, the more you will once again start knowing the Perfect Answers for your own happiness and fulfillment. You might need to make some life changes to satisfy those Perfect Answers for you, but you will know what you need to do when you can hear yourself clearly again.
Your journey will lead you to discover that the Perfect Answers are exactly where you left them in the first place! If you need more help remembering how to listen to your inner self, or would like some other tips for reconnecting to your deeper self, please email me.
Tracy Togliatti is a Registered Reiki Master through the Global Reiki Association and an Energy Psychology Practitioner. Tracy is also acting Director of http://www.happyher.com, where she offers a Free Advice service and free email Reiki lessons. You may contact her anytime here http://www.happyher.com/advice/contact.shtml
Tags: advice, self help, self improvementWork as Life How to Get New Answers to Old Questions
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
I’ve been haunted for years by one of my dad’s oft-repeated old sayings when I was growing up:
There’s no better way to kill time than work it to death.
I never questioned the truth of that statement. First, I love my dad. He’s a really good man. Second, work is good. Third, work is what we’re all about, right. Right?
- Lie number 1: We don’t get anywhere in life without working hard.
- Lie number 2: The more we work, the more we make.
- Lie number 3: What we do is who we are.
We spend more time working than any other activity. Most of us sleep less than eight hours a night, yet we work more than eight hours per day. Our most important relationship is with those we love at home. Yet we spend most of our time, with colleagues who love us very little. And those at home (who love us most, remember?) get the tired, grumpy, raggedy remnants of the “best” self that we tried to be all day.
Work became something different for me about 10 years ago when, in one of the many heart-to-hearts between me and my oldest son when he was feeling his way through high school, he said, “Work is evil for you.” Evil is a strong word, never to be taken lightly. At first, I thought maybe he was just angry because I didn’t spend enough time with him. But he didn’t seem angry. He was just telling me what he believed. He couldn’t elaborate, but at 16, he opened a wound that didn’t heal quickly. It festered for years as I thought about that: How could work be evil if my dad said it was the best way to kill time?
I was on the fast track in the newspaper business with a great job. As a young man, I had climbed much of the corporate ladder in a field that demanded 24 hour-a-day response. When my radio (before cell phone proliferation) crackled my name, or the phone rang, no matter what time, I had to respond. It didn’t matter if I was celebrating a holiday or a child’s birthday, I was on call.
But I had a good job. People respected me. I was providing for my family. I was living, and buying into, all three LIES. But as with most addictions — and work was an addiction for me — I hit a bottom.
Something had to change. Work wasn’t the answer it once was. I changed careers and fields in an effort to control my workaholic ways. For a short time, things were better. But not for long. I discovered that I’d rather work than talk to most folks. And if I’m feeling blue, please give me a hard job to do so I don’t have to feel it. Work became a great way to avoid myself.
I needed new answers. I had to throw out old rules that haunted me, and new insights that wounded me. I had to discover what work was to me.
Answers came slowly.
- Answer number 1: The key to “getting somewhere” is knowing where you want to go. One of my favorite reminders comes from Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Many people climb the corporate ladder only to find that the ladder was leaning on the wrong wall. Been there, done that.
- Answer number 2: Work smarter, not harder. Another clich Tags: advice, balance, change, child, children, dad, father, life, parent, parenting, training, upbringing, work